I write this at the time of the Equinox, which falls smack bang in the middle of a Solar Eclipse (March 8) and a Lunar Eclipse (March 23). Nature’s cycles and their energies planetary or otherwise, play a big part in my understanding of the parenting process. They have for many years been a point of access to increased intuition and subsequent information.
As I pen this, the energies of nature are responding and collaborating with those of the Earth, the Heavens and more importantly our own. There is essentially nothing outside of us that influences us; we are not separate but dance a cosmic tango where no one entity truly leads or follows. Everything is connected as our consciousness expands the Universe responds and vice a versa.
The word equinox refers to a natural phenomenon where day and night are of equal length; it implies balance. This particular equinox falls between a Solar and Lunar Eclipse. The Solar (sun) is symbolic of the Divine outward Masculine principal, the Lunar (moon) of the more internal power of the Divine Feminine. In essence therefore we are at a point in time where these two energies are in balance; something that our Collective experience is in dire need of.
Our history shows us that this balance of energies; the Divine Feminine and Masculine has not been successfully achieved for eons.
This lack of equilibrium underpins many of the challenges we face and deeply affect our ability to parent from a productive, fair, truly loving and empowered space.
When the Divine Masculine and Feminine are working symbiotically in a family situation, there is a greater chance that the child concerned will flourish with ease.
Me Tarzan? You Jane?
We’ve always been preoccupied with thoughts around gender. No biggie right? Our differences have been used against us or made to work for us; different strokes for different folks for sure, but there is something deeper, almost quantum at play.
The two primary genders give focus to, (yes there are others that bleed boundaries) aka male and female, are not simply constructed of biology, cultural concept or sexual persuasion but primarily and excitingly, of energy systems.
Using energy as an inroad to understand oneself or another is a hugely useful and empowering perspective. It dissolves cultural and social boundaries, unhooks us from limiting concepts like patriarchy and out of balance feminism and by- passes our endless search for what is termed equality. Equality currently seems to just mean allowing women to be men, something I personally have never felt is truly adequate in application because it doesn’t encompass or address the valuable complexity from which human and in particular female nature is forged.
Women are not difficult, but we are complex. If you really take a deep look into men’s affairs you will likely find a similar complexity exists, except, due to eons of suppression of the male emotional life, it’s not something that has had much airtime or opportunity to be expressed. Patriarchy has done as much disservice to the evolution of the male species as it has to women.
Using Energetics as a way of understanding and navigating human dynamics is fascinating. It’s the place where I personally, always find all the answers.
Energy is what the entire Universe and we are made of. All our plants, animals, rocks, stones, water, air and earth have a vibration cascading through them and they, like us, respond accordingly, dependent on the nature of their unique energetic make up.
All of us, whatever gender we embody biologically, also house energies.
These energies can be broadly divided into Masculine Energy and Feminine Energy. Not only do these energies tend to shape our bodies somewhat differently, they also hold the keys to unlocking the more hidden mysteries of our preferred way of operating in the World at large.
By investigating or getting to know oneself from this energetic stance can provide us with insight into understanding of how we best operate and how this in turn can help us interface with others; with partners, friends, co-workers and especially with our children.
Knowing your energy blueprint is a fantastic and deeply empowering way of living authentically, powerfully and frankly more healthfully.
For sure, we are but One Being expressing our selves in 7 billion ways but beyond the common paths to authenticity, (those that encourage us to find the perfectly matched partner or career choice, or even to get to know oneself through more esoteric means such as astrology or the million and one versions of psychotherapy), energetic blueprints provide a significant missing link that brings something deeper and existential to our understanding of Self; something so powerful and practically visceral that it blows all those previous archeological digs into our personality to find our authenticity, out of the park.
There are many people walking around who have no idea about where they are at or who they are energetically. They literally are living in unconscious resistance or abject oblivion to their innate energy systems.
Operating from this place of unconsciousness means that we are often at odds to our natural flow, our true power and even unable to access increased physical vitality. This makes for a life experience punctuated with hardship, challenges and disharmony. It can also create full blown illness because the body will eventually express this upstream behavior and manifest dis-ease at some juncture.
We are all made up of two basic energies, the Masculine and the Feminine. Men do not just hold the Divine Masculine and women do not simply house the Divine Feminine.
All genders encapsulate percentages of both. Finding balance or at best knowing which is the most powerful, pervasive and potent in oneself is crucial to accessing that much coveted, authentic experience.
There are women, like myself, who are more ‘Feminine’ in energetic terms. They tend to be the ‘receivers’. They receive the ‘seed’ what ever that may mean; the sperm, the money, the food, the home, the vegetable seeds, the child and tend to make something beautiful of what they receive. Growth through nurturace is their credo.
People who err on the side of this Feminine Energy flourish when they can be more passive recipients. This does not mean that they are not capable of creating great things or experiences. It by no means implies that they are less potent or productive in the outside world but it does mean that their real power lies in their magnetism, in their ability to attract into their life what they and their entourage might need.
I know for myself I am more powerful in my quietude and working on my projects alone at home, nurturing them through inward practice, than I am out there in the traditionally accepted fashion, which reveres manifestation in an overt, extroverted, action orientated way.
I have never flourished or been able to utilize my true gifts to their full potential by going out to work. My power lies in my ability to create from within to without. My energetic composition is more in line with the traditional image of cave- man- brings- hairy- mammoth- home- to- me- and- I make- a- beautiful- dinner -out -of –it- that –lasts- for -days! And yes, my never fading desire to have children and create a fully Earth Mother nurturing experience for them was a pivotal driving force; it was my personal song line that sat well with my energetic blueprint.
Although I did not provide equal monetary input as my partner did, during our parenting years, my energetic contribution to life was of no less value than my partners monetary one. Money is just another form of energy to which we have given undue status. There are many more forms of energy just as valuable.
Women and indeed men who hold a greater quotient of this receptive aspect of Divine Feminine energy and who are allowed to express it fully, are known for their resourcefulness and ironically quality ‘husbanding’ of that which is received. For them very little traditional ‘masculine’ action is required. Those who resonate with this energetic blueprint, acknowledge it and are able to live by this knowledge can fire on all cylinders. It can be so potent that it can feel in line with the story of the Magic Porridge Pot and the Biblical story of Fishes and Loaves. This is Feminine Divinity in abundant motion.
Many women (and some men), have this innate energetic blue print. Think of all the Micro Financing endeavors in less developed countries that prefer to target and support women. It’s a well-documented fact that women in such situations tend to manage their financial affairs better than the men folk. Why? Because this Feminine Energy is as powerful if not more potent at times, than the currently revered and practiced Masculine way of creating.
The Law of Attraction is essentially founded upon this feminine principle of creating. A person who presents with the ability to manifest their needs without doing too much, by feeling their way to that desire, drawing it to them, likely holds a great percentage of Feminine Energy.
The power of this energetic quality of attraction has given Woman and her often-dominant energy system a bad name. It led to the oppression of women because it appeared to defy the laws of logic, of reason; it appeared to be magic and other-worldly.
Where the Divine Feminine is still oppressed or feared, this quality of attraction still labels this Divine Energy as negative. Feminine wiles, manipulation or a lack of integrity still present as a pervasive ideology around women and is commensurate with Biblical stories of a weak Eve falling prey to an evil serpent that then went on to lead Man astray. Sirens hypnotizing unsuspecting men, and witches casting catastrophic spells continue to malinform societies and cultures that do not revere the feminine.
As a result the preferred and revered way of creating and indeed of living, was handed over to the Masculine modus operandi which involves a more pro-active, go-out-there-and-get-it approach; a divide and conquer to rule method. It is more overt and admired for its literally ‘up front’, penetrative, competative methodology.
As with everything there is no one right way of doing anything. We need both energies to create. To know your Energetic balance, i.e. how much Divine Feminine or Masculine Energy you hold naturally, will support you in accessing an authentic and frankly easier way of navigating life. It will help you make choices; career choices, personal and relationship choices, parenting styles and even choices of how to cope with daily demands in a more aligned way and productive way.
To operate counter to your natural Energetic blueprint means you literally go against your grain and into resistance, which then in turn will likely affect your potency to create the life or circumstances that you deserve and dream of.
As a keen observer of humanity, an empath and a Sensitive, I am acutely aware of just how many people especially women, there are, walking around who are operating unconsciously, counter to their innate, preferred Energetic stream.
Often those who clearly house more “feminine” energy but are unaware of it, or have been unable to work with it sufficiently, will appear to take on more masculine features; their hair will start to thin early, their upper torso thicken up and their general demeanor change from being the traditional feminine more estrogenic form to a more masculine one.
Over the last century women, particularly those in First World Countries have experienced the emancipation of women as being given the right to operate as men do. We call this equality.
Now whilst this is indeed a massive breakthrough, a much needed step in our collective evolution, these moves towards equality, of say going out 9-5 working in a still predominantly masculine environment, is not suited for ALL women. Some women will flourish under these conditions and some will flounder and become increasingly tired, worn out and often angry.
The women who do truly flourish (and I don’t mean just financially) under such conditions of increased equality are those who likely hold a greater percentage of Divine Masculine Energy.
There are plenty of women today, certainly in developed countries or who have had access to sufficient education, who are manifesting their dreams and meeting needs more than adequately. The reason they manage this so well is because they are likely examples of the more Warrior Queen Energy. They are the do-ers, the extrovert movers and shakers. They manifest by a more masculine energetic means, through outward action in the public arena and are, by and large the current, common role model for the ideal woman.
They are the ones who seem to be able to thrive in the out-there- world as well as bring up a family and remain healthy. The way that they do this, the way that they create, relate and parent may be very different to the person who holds a greater percentage of the more feminine expression of divinity.
There are no rights or wrongs, no judgments or preferred ways but if you are truly at ease and in the ‘know’ and ‘flow’ of your own energy system, everyone tends to thrive.
What am I?
As a parent it’s helpful to know what kind of energy dominates your system. It’s valuable to be aware what way of Being suits you best. It’s no different from positioning a solar panel on your roof for maximum potential; it just supports you and your loved ones more effectively.
Energetic Self-knowledge helps you choose an appropriate mate (usually someone who complements and holds more of the opposite energy), and it certainly helps you identify your own parenting style, often releasing you from feeling torn or confused by all the information and advice out there.
To know your own energy balance and the innate power that each aspect has, puts you more firmly in the driving seat of your own personal and parenting experience; make peace with your special self and you’ll find peace and increased power to create the life that you want.
So, lets get practical. Bringing up kids is a hands-on job. Theories are great but they have a shelf life.
How your Energetic Blueprint helps your child rearing.
1. Knowing what kind of balance or energy dominates your own system will help you know what kind of partner might be best for you if you choose to have children.
The ideal parenting partnership requires either both partners to have equally balanced Feminine or Masculine energy or for one partner to be more Feminine in composition and the other predominantly Masculine.
Healthy Masculine energy is not misogynist or dominating; it is supportive of and respects fully, the intense power of the healthy Feminine.
To identify and offer this harmony in a primary relationship will create a loving, powerful, truly co-creative space within which to nurture children.
This is essentially just a deeper iteration of the fact that statistically children benefit from having input from both a mother and a father.
2.When it comes to roles and duties as a parent, being familiar with our energetic strengths and where your innate power resides, means that decision making around parenting issues will naturally fall to the partner whose energetic strengths are more suited to the situation.
If the mother offers a more ‘masculine’ blueprint then circumstances that need a more intuitive, emotionally intelligent approach may well fall to the father or partner who houses more feminine energy.
Honoring and embracing (without judgments), our energetic strengths and then using them in appropriate circumstances creates increased ease and flow within family dynamics.
3. Dealing with outside authority such as schools and medical professionals can be a minefield for some parents especially as they become more Mindful and self governing.
Potent Divine Feminine energy is radically protective. It’s like the lioness that will roar at any ‘attack’ or perceived injustice to her cub. It can be a fierce force to be reckoned with and uses intuition and emotion as its primary guide.
Most institutions that claim authority currently still hold a largely paternalistic attitude, which does not match well with the Divine Feminine in motion.
Knowing which partner is best suited to ‘take on’ the authority or take the pro-active more vocal role in such situations is vital to positive and preferred outcomes.
Intuition is not something to be ignored. A balanced and free Feminine usually knows best when it comes to children. The enlightened parent nurtures its offspring from this intuitive place but society is still catching up with this idea and so there will no doubt be points in a parents experience where they may feel compelled to challenge authority.
Working together, supporting the situation with ones natural strengths whilst holding the desired stance is a classic and vital example of the balanced Divine Masculine supporting the all powerful, knowing, evolved Feminine.
4. Discipline. Personally, discipline is essentially a paternalistic concept that has its roots in patriarchy, duality consciousness and religious doctrine. It flows forth from the largely unquestioned idea that human nature is incapable of achieving a harmonious existence without training, taming and shaming. It generally involves punishment as a method of control and implies that children are existentially wayward and need hauling in regularly.
Whilst children do need gentle guidance they don’t need an out of balance Masculine approach that involves violent reprimand or punitive action.
If you err on the side of punishment or violence, physical or verbal as a solution to harmony it means your masculine energy is off centre.
Likewise, if you find you don’t have the strength to uphold gentle, non-punitive but firm boundaries that support the ease of your child’s unfolding, it is likely that you have weak out of kilter Feminine energy.
Knowing where you are at with your own vibration at any given time goes a long way in supporting your kids in their constantly changing world.
When they know your energy is balanced, in positive flow and centered in whichever way you can, in any given moment, means that those difficult behaviors often won’t even arise. Children’s energy systems are very sensitive to those around them. They are sentient beings who learn by osmosis. If they pick up on unbalanced energy it naturally has repercussions.
5. Statistics show that children in healthy two parent families tend to thrive.
As we can see with the changes to notions of family, this has very little to do with the gender of the parents and probably everything to do with these energetic balances.
A homosexual couple who choose to have children can parent as effectively as a heterosexual one because these divine energies are not gender specific.
In the same way a traditional heterosexual partnership can be seriously out of balance and unfair to a child if one energy system dominates over the other. Gender is not the issue, balance in energies is.
Even Single Parents who hold naturally or work towards this balance of masculine and feminine energies by reaching out into their community for the missing energy, are not lacking in or doing a disservice to their children. This would just be the perfect example of the well -known saying that it takes a village to raise a child.
By knowing yourself as a parent energetically, many of the pitfalls, the aspects that create dissention and chaos within families, which negatively affect the experience of childhood, can be avoided. A happy child is one that feels that they are in a space that is strong, secure, centered and emotionally and energetically balanced.
A lot of the usual confrontation, the arguments, confusion and indecisiveness that plague families, stems from not being on the same page. Ironically we are not built to be identical and so being on the same page is something almost unachievable. To parent peacefully and to avoid fall out from cross fire, it is more than valuable to know where our own adult energetic strengths lie and use them to empower your parenting process.
Identifying your own Energy System.
Here are some words to help identify your own blueprint or consciously create one that is more in tune with your innate nature. We all have a combination of Sacred Masculine and Feminine traits. You can use this as a guide to investigate your own inner, energetic world
The Sacred Feminine.
Restoration, life, renewal, creation, birth, healing, cyclical, receptivity, openness, motherhood, nurturing, unconditional love, understanding, compassion, insight, intuition, wisdom, forgiveness, the moon, connection, harmony, welcoming, beauty, gentleness, patience, accepting, accessible, kind, forgiving, serving, peaceful, open-minded, mysterious, spontaneous, ever-changing, flowing, resourceful.
The Sacred Masculine.
Action, direction, movement, responsibility, strength, focus, fatherhood, the Sun, generosity, responsiveness, encouragement, material abundance, clarity, intellect, transformation and growth, linear, reliable, stable, protective, respectful, predictable, the ability to support the birth of a new earth/anything new conceived by the Divine Feminine.
Happy Energetic Parenting!